Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Options 1, 2, 3

I started this blog probably one or two month before my departure to US. What was the reason I created this blog? I can't really remember. Dai lou is the one who recommended me to this blog. Did I told you why do I want my own blog?
I think I tried to record every single moment that happened to me here: My feelings, up and down, my challenges, my new friends,...
But I didn't really do it regularly. It makes me a little hard to trace back what happened within these few months in US.
And now, it's close to the time for me to make decision for the coming directions. Should I extend my program? Should I go back to Malaysia to start again my career? Or should I become holiday maker in UK for another two years?
I'm always thinking, why this and not that and why that and not this? If I already make you confuse at this point, I think you can turn off this screen and proceed to something more rigid. Because I also confuse when I'm writting...
Well, there are always some reasons, of course, that drives me here, and next directions... maybe you can give me some comments.
Below are a few options :
1) Extend another 6, 9, or 12 months as an au pair in US
*Since the begining of my program, I heard about thousand of cases and failure examples of this so called 'cultural exchange'. I feel sorry for some of the girls who have been treated as 'Indon maid' in Malaysia. I was also once felt bad about the unfortunate that happenned to my friends, those I know and I care. Though I'm much fortunate to be with my host family, I'm little afraid about the reality - nothing is eternal!
Therefore, I am reluctant to go to a new family which is full of unexpectation.
2) Apply Holiday makers visa (2 years) work and travel in UK
* The reasons is there's an age limit. One must be below 31 to be eligibled for this visa. I hope to travel to Europes again. I still have not realize my 'Tulip field dream'. The more I see, the more i want to see. But too bad, money not enough! Earning pounds are reasonably easier for me to realize my dreams than earning Ringgit Malaysia. Agree?
3) Go back to Malaysia
*Oh my! My country! Chinese proverb said "又爱又恨 " . I miss the people that I cares over there, I miss my little nephews and nieces (though they are no longer 'little'), I miss the days out looking for delicious foods, pasar malam,... But I knew a reality: Everone has his/ her own life going on, me too, should carry on my own life.
So what about career? uhhh, my career path are almost bending here and there like a snake curling on the tree, look calm but swinging on the air. em..some who denied my decision to come US at that moment might say: "see, told you don't go and u was so stubborn." ;P
This time, when I go back, I'm no longer 25, no longer in the good market value age...damn shit lor! So, start a child care business as discussed with sister before I came? Wao!! look like lots of commitment. Am I ready for that? I have to sacrify most of my times (weekends or even holidays) to fight with the risks!
Or should I go for my interest? I should probably call Ah Sai to find out if press mind to hire a fresh entry of age 27...

4 comments:

Lian said...

I see your option is more to 2. But again, without $$$ all that is impossible. I am here NOT to say any option is suite you. To travel FREELY, you have to FREE your MIND first.......

Unknown said...

"To travel FREELY, you have to FREE your MIND first..." I agree, but I think I still not... :(

Unknown said...

what is option 4?

Unknown said...

options 4 is not bad... will u apply?