Sayonara Santa Fe

Santa Fe 2003

31MF14

Dec 16, 2005

This is your last picture before I kill you .

You must be angry at me because I destroyed you and you can't come home anymore...

Though they said you might not performed good in the snow but I think you are well done in other seasons. I felt so comfortable driving you around. I like to open the window on top of the seats and feel the fresh air when I'm driving on the country roads; you allow me to insert 6 CDs at once; your engine can be remoted start and warm up before I get in the car...

I'm sure I will miss you!

I'm still Alive!

The Christmas and New Year is around the corner. Everywhere is smell of the joyous of the festive season. And I am so excited to welcome my friend coming for her first white Christmas in United States.

Everything is gone just because I crash the car, early in the morning today. It's just like a dream and I wake up asking myself is it true. Yes, it is. It's so clear in my memory how the car slides and crash to the tree. And the image of the car damaged so bad, and the bad smell due to the burst of air bag.... It was so so bad!!

I know crying doesn't help anything, but I still feeling sad because I almost kill the kid and myself. I am so guilty and question about my stupidness in making the judgement. If I have to be more carefull and everything might not be the same.

Besides feeling bad and sorry for the family, I also feel bad because Poh Chin is on her way flying to US. How can I tell her that I 'lost' my car and let her to stay at home for the whole week? Instead she spent so much $$ to fly all the way in 36 hours from Australia. How can I show her everywhere? I may be have to pack my stuff and go home with her after 2 weeks...

Well, the kid told me I don't have to worry too much about the crash. He said that's his fault and he told me alot about the previous au pair and his brother's accidents. He told me his parents are rich enough to buy a new car. He told me that he likes me and doesn't want me to go home...... He tried to say many things and hugged to make me feel better. It's touching, isn't it? I am too guilty to 'crash' away the trust from his parents. Even if they don't say anything to blame me, I still feel bad because I 'm sure they will be so disappointed for my mistake.

Oh this might be the real reason if I quit huh..?

* Thanks God for your blessing. I thought I am dead the moment I crash. It was so bad and I am still alive now. I will learn from that and listen to your voice. I might be something you mean to be. I know the kid loves me now. And I know who really care when I am in trouble.

If...I Quit

If, one day I show up myself infront of you, please don't ask me why am I back to Malaysia out of a sudden. I have complained enough about the kid's attitute. That's the only reason may cause me to do that at this moment.

What is it means if I quit this program before the end of the contract? Is it prove that I am not tough enough to stay in challenges? Or is it prove that I just don't feel it's worth for me to stay any longer under such circumstances? Well, I really not sure......

Please help: Problem of Using Blogger

Can anyone tell me a better way to create and publish my post here. I almost fedup and may stop writting to this blog again due to some technical problems. It might be my own human problem which is lack of knowledge in using this blog.

Maybe some of you can answere my querries below:

1) The pop up screen to upload photos is always being blocked and I have to try for many times

before I get it.

2) To upload the photos, I need to do it one by one. If I try to upload more images at the same

time, the possibility of success is very low.

3) Problem does exist sometimes when I try to upload only one photo at a time.

4) Sometimes when I select one of the photo and delete it, all other photos also gone.

5) Difficult to arrange the photos position on the page. For example, if I put the photo on the left

upper corner, I can't to move it to somewhere later.

6) The latest uploaded photos always being inserted on top of all others. For instance, I uploaded

photo 1 and 2. And now, I want to insert photo 3 at the bottom, it will only appear on the top

instead of the place that I intend to put.

7) A new problem found: The icon up here (the alighment of the sentences) sometimes is not

function properly.

8) How if somedays the onwer of this domain decided to remove or make some changes

(charge??) on this blog?

...............................

I am upset of trying for so many times and troubled by the technical problems.

Please help and comment.

Snow - Emergency School Delays or Cancels

It's forsee to has a snow storm started from early in the morning today. So, the schools are cancel and everyone get back to sleep. Yeah!!

But I am sure it's not a good news for those who have younger kids at home because they have to work more if the kids stay at home. My kids are older and I need not to sit beside them nor play with them. I think they wish I rather stay away from them. So, it's good for me. I am going back to my room now and continue my sweet dreams.

See ya!!

*It's snowing, so beautiful!!!

Be careful ..

Have you ever experience that somedays you are impatient and get angry easily? I guess this is common for women due to the hormon influences in our bodies. Someone may experience more serious than the other. And I am not sure how serious am I, but I do have the same effects.

In somedays when I am in the mode of 'quiet', I will just smile back if someone acted impolitely to me or even just ignore it. But somedays, I feel so bad and 'fight' back with them.

I guess I am in the Peak of the day in a month now. I am suppose to get the kid to his Mathematic tuition at 5:15pm. Usually, his schedule is very tight and so am I. So, I told him in the morning that I will pick him up from his friend's house at 4:15pm and go directly to the tuition. As usual, I forsee he is going to fight with me because he has to leave earlier. If he is at home, he would definately ignore me and only get into the car much later than the schedule time. He just does not care about being puncture to attend every functions in his life! Unless playing computer games or chatting online with his friends. So, once he get into the car, he started argue with me that he could only leave half an hour before the tuition start. His rudeness fan on my anger and I asked if he wants to get off the car now. Haha...how could I said so? It's snowing!! But it works! He must be more angry with me that I dare to ask him get off the car. I bet no one has ever did the same besides his mum (I was in the car with them last time and my host mum really pulled over her car and shouted at him to get off the car). After that, I told him with my angry voice that I dont mean to torture him but he always has tight schedule. He has no choice. Then, he started to lie on the window and sleep. I heard some sounds like he is crying, probably?? Haha..dare him to treat me so rude, he should know that he needs to be 'repair'.. :P

I was about to reach the library at 4:50pm. He was sleeping in the car. So, do you know what I did? I purposely missed the junction and spent more time on the road. I guess he doesn't know even if he is not sleeping because he has totally no idea where are we. Haha...normally he is so mean if he knows the ways and see how I did the same to him now....heheheee.....

So, man be careful!

Scrapbook, Papers, Stickers...

Some of you who saw my photo albums in my teenages may know that I enjoy scrapbooking alot. The process of paper cutting and decorating the album is a lot of fun. But after I started working and physically taxing from the terrible traffic in KL, I stop doing anything that is costing too much of time and effort. I stop scrapbooking.

Since I am so free nowadays and wish to do something to record my travel experience in US now, I started looking for scrapbooking materials again. That's make me even miss Malsysia more. As other stuffs, scrapbooking materials are expensive too. A stack of color papers cost around USD8 and it's approximately RM30. I never know that papers are so precious in America (haha..). If I am doing the same thing in Malaysia, I can use many different materials and even bind the book/album myself, everything is DIY and less costing.

Maybe I can make papers myself since there many woods surround me..hahaha...